From The Wildflowers

I Am Becoming Everything I Prayed For

I think sometimes we get so caught up in where we’re going that we completely forget to look at where we’ve come from.

We’re always thinking about the next thing. The next goal. The next version of ourselves. The things we still want to change, heal, achieve or figure out. And when you’re constantly looking forward, it’s really easy to convince yourself that you’re not there yet.

But today I want you to turn around for a minute.

Not physically. Unless you want to. 😂

I mean really look back at yourself.

Think about who you were a year ago. Five years ago. Ten years ago. Or maybe think about a particular version of yourself who was going through something and genuinely had no idea how they were going to get through it.

What did that person want?

Maybe they wanted peace.

Maybe they wanted the courage to walk away from things that were hurting them.

Maybe they wanted to stop caring so much about what everybody else thought.

Maybe they wanted confidence. Independence. A home that felt safe. People who loved them properly. The courage to start again.

Maybe they just wanted to feel like themselves again.

And then look at you now.

I think we forget that not every prayer gets answered by something suddenly appearing in front of us. Sometimes the answer is who we become along the way.

Sometimes you don’t get handed the life you prayed for. You slowly become the person capable of creating it.

And that process isn’t always pretty.

There are days when you’ll feel like you’ve got everything figured out and days when you’ll wonder what the actual fuck you’re doing. There will still be things that hurt. You’ll still have moments where you doubt yourself. You’ll still make mistakes, change your mind, get overwhelmed and occasionally want to hide under a blanket and tell the entire world to piss off.

Growth doesn’t suddenly turn you into some permanently peaceful, enlightened human who floats around drinking herbal tea and never loses their shit.

You’re still human.

Healing doesn’t mean nothing hurts anymore. Strength doesn’t mean you never cry. And becoming the person you once needed doesn’t mean there aren’t still parts of you that need love too.

That’s something I’ve had to learn myself.

There are things I still want from my life. There are places I want to go, things I want to build and parts of myself I’m still discovering. I am absolutely not standing here thinking, Well, that’s me finished then.

Far from it.

But I’m also learning to stop moving the finish line every time I reach something I once wanted.

Because there are things in my life now that an earlier version of me would have given anything for.

There are boundaries I can hold now that I once couldn’t. Things I can talk about now that once would have completely broken me. I trust myself more. I’m learning to choose myself without feeling like I need permission to do it. I’m creating something that actually means something to me. And I’m becoming more comfortable simply being who I am instead of trying to fit into somebody else’s version of who I should be.

And I don’t want to become so obsessed with what’s next that I forget how massive those things are.

So today, I want you to do something with me.

Imagine an earlier version of yourself sitting opposite you.

Not the polished version. Pick the one who really needed you.

Let them look at your life now.

What would they notice?

What would surprise them?

What would make them proud?

What would make them look at you and think, Bloody hell. We actually made it through that.

Because I guarantee they’ll notice things you’ve stopped noticing.

They won’t care that you haven’t ticked every box yet.

They’ll see the strength you had to build to get here.

They’ll see the things you survived.

They’ll see every time you got back up.

They’ll see the way you’ve learned to protect your peace, use your voice, love differently, dream again and start over when you needed to.

And maybe you’ll realise something too.

You are still becoming.

You are still growing.

There is still so much waiting for you.

But you don’t have to wait until you’ve reached some imaginary finish line before you’re allowed to be proud of yourself.

So my reflection for you today is:

What does the person you are today have that an earlier version of you once prayed for?

Sit with that one for a while.

Because you may not have everything you prayed for yet.

But look at who you’ve become while you were waiting. ✨

Daily Affirmation

Nova Rising Soul x