Who are you?

Who Are You When Nobody Needs Anything From You?

It’s a strange question when you actually sit with it.

Who are you when nobody needs anything from you?

Not when you’re being Mam, Dad, partner, friend, daughter, son, colleague, carer, problem-solver, peacekeeper or the person everyone rings because apparently you know what to do.

Just you.

I think a lot of us get so used to being needed that we don’t even realise how much of our identity becomes wrapped up in what we do for other people. We know everyone else’s routines. We remember birthdays. We check people are okay. We sort things out. We keep plates spinning. And somewhere amongst all of that, our own little plate gets shoved in a cupboard.

Then suddenly you get some time completely to yourself and think… right. What the hell do I actually want to do?

And I don’t mean what should you do. Not the washing that needs putting away. Not the thing you’ve been meaning to organise. Not something productive so you can feel like you’ve used your time properly.

What do you naturally choose when nobody is asking anything of you?

Maybe you put music on ridiculously loud. Maybe you paint, game, walk, read, dance around the kitchen, sit in complete silence, spend three hours learning about something random or lie on the sofa watching absolute rubbish.

None of it needs to achieve anything.

I think there’s something really important about getting to know that version of ourselves again. The person underneath all the jobs we do and all the things we are to everybody else.

Because being there for people is beautiful. Loving people is beautiful. Being someone others can rely on is beautiful.

But you are still a whole person when nobody needs you.

You don’t have to be useful to deserve space in your own life.

So maybe today, even if it’s only for ten minutes, give yourself a bit of time where there’s nothing to accomplish and nobody to please.

And see who turns up.

Daily Affirmation

Nova x