From The Wildflowers

Take Up Space

I think a lot of us spend far too much of our lives making ourselves smaller without even realising we’re doing it.

We make ourselves quieter. We soften what we actually want to say. We apologise before we’ve even done anything wrong. We downplay the things we’re proud of because we don’t want to look like we’re showing off. We say yes when every part of us wants to say no, and then somehow feel guilty when we finally put ourselves first.

And why?

Because somewhere along the way, we’ve learned that being easy to deal with is more important than being ourselves.

I’ve definitely done it. I’ve worried about being too loud, too emotional, too opinionated, too passionate, too much. I’ve over-explained myself because I wanted people to understand where I was coming from. I’ve questioned whether I should say something because I knew somebody might not like it. I’ve made allowances for other people while expecting myself to just deal with things.

But I’m starting to realise that constantly making yourself smaller doesn’t actually keep the peace. It just means the person losing their peace is you.

Taking up space doesn’t mean walking into a room believing you’re more important than everybody else. It doesn’t mean shouting the loudest or demanding attention. Sometimes taking up space is actually really quiet.

It’s saying no and leaving it at that.

It’s wearing the outfit you love even if somebody else thinks it’s a bit much.

It’s sharing something you’re proud of without immediately following it with a joke to make it seem less important.

It’s having an opinion and not changing it just because somebody disagrees.

It’s creating something because you love it, rather than wondering whether everybody else will approve.

It’s allowing yourself to be seen.

That last one can be bloody terrifying.

Because once you stop shrinking yourself, not everybody is going to like the version of you that appears. Especially people who benefited from the version of you who stayed quiet, forgave everything, explained herself constantly and worried more about everyone else’s feelings than her own.

But somebody else being uncomfortable with your boundaries doesn’t automatically mean your boundaries are wrong.

Somebody thinking you’re “too much” doesn’t mean you need to become less.

And somebody misunderstanding you doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of the day desperately trying to change their mind.

Sometimes you have to let people think whatever they’re going to think and carry on living your life anyway.

That’s something I’m learning more and more.

I don’t want to spend the next chapter of my life asking for permission to exist in it. I want to laugh loudly when something is funny. I want to talk about the things I care about. I want to celebrate the things I achieve. I want to change my mind, try new things, make mistakes, be ridiculous sometimes, love deeply and create things simply because something inside me says, do it.

I want to be completely myself.

Not everybody’s version of me. Not the person somebody else thinks I should be. Not a smaller, quieter version designed to make everyone around me comfortable.

Me.

And I think we all deserve that.

So maybe today, notice the moments when you automatically start shrinking yourself. Notice when you apologise unnecessarily, dismiss a compliment, stay quiet when you want to speak or convince yourself that something you want isn’t important enough.

Then try something different.

Take the compliment.

Say what you mean.

Celebrate the win.

Wear the thing.

Share the idea.

Say no.

Take the bloody photo.

Start the thing you keep talking yourself out of.

You don’t need to become louder than everyone around you. You just need to stop turning your own volume down.

You are allowed to take up space in your own life.

You are allowed to be seen. You are allowed to be heard. You are allowed to have needs, dreams, boundaries, opinions and ambitions.

You are allowed to be exactly who you are without constantly apologising for it.

You belong here too.

Daily Affirmation

Nova Rising Soul x