Your Energy Changes When You Stop Asking Permission

Your Energy Changes When You Stop Asking Permission to Take Up Space

For a long time, a lot of us learn to make ourselves smaller without even realising we’re doing it. We soften what we really want to say. We worry about being too loud, too excited, too emotional, too different, too confident. We look around the room before deciding how much of ourselves is acceptable in it.

And eventually, you can become so used to adjusting yourself for other people that you don’t even notice you’re doing it anymore.

But something changes when you stop.

Taking up space doesn’t mean becoming the loudest person in the room or believing that you’re more important than anyone else. It simply means understanding that you belong in the room too. Your thoughts matter. Your interests matter. Your excitement matters. Your boundaries matter. You don’t have to make yourself smaller so somebody else can feel bigger.

Sometimes taking up space is speaking when you would normally stay quiet. Sometimes it’s wearing something you love without wondering what people will think. It can be trying something completely new, sharing something you’re proud of, saying no without writing an entire essay explaining why, or allowing yourself to be excited without immediately trying to tone it down.

And your energy really does change when you start doing that.

There’s something different about someone who isn’t constantly checking the room for permission to be themselves. You can feel when somebody is comfortable in who they are. They’re not performing confidence or demanding attention. They’re simply present. There’s an ease to them because they’re no longer spending half their energy wondering whether they should shrink.

The funny thing is, we can sometimes worry that becoming more ourselves will push people away. And occasionally, it will. Not everyone will understand every version of you, especially if they were comfortable with the version who always accommodated them.

But becoming more yourself also makes it easier for the right people to actually find you.

When you stop hiding the strange little things you love, you find people who love them too. When you speak openly about what matters to you, you create space for somebody else to say, “Me too.” When you allow yourself to be joyful, curious, spiritual, creative, ridiculous, passionate or whatever else makes you you, you give other people permission to stop editing themselves as well.

That’s the beautiful part.

Taking up space doesn’t take anything away from anybody else. There isn’t a limited amount of room for people to shine. Somebody else being brilliant doesn’t dim your light, and you allowing yourself to shine doesn’t dim theirs.

So maybe today, notice the places where you still automatically make yourself smaller.

Notice when you almost apologise before speaking. When you dismiss your own achievement. When you hide your excitement. When you change your answer because you’re worried yours might be different from everybody else’s.

And instead of asking, “Am I allowed?”

Try asking, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

You were never supposed to spend your life standing politely at the edge of it, waiting to be invited in.

Take up your space. You’re already allowed to be here.

Daily Affirmation

Nova x