You Don’t Always Have to Be the One Pouring

You Don’t Always Have to Be the One Pouring

I think some of us get so used to being the person who gives that we don’t even realise we’re doing it anymore. We’re the one checking everyone is okay, remembering the little things, listening when someone needs to talk, offering advice, helping, encouraging and generally making sure everyone else’s cup has something in it.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being that person. I actually love being that person. I love making people feel loved, supported and seen. But somewhere along the way, it’s very easy to forget that we’re allowed to receive that same energy too.

I’m definitely guilty of this. Someone offers to help and my automatic response is, “No, it’s fine, I’ve got it.” Someone asks if I’m okay and somehow five minutes later I’m asking how they are. Apparently accepting help without immediately trying to repay it is an advanced life skill I’m still working on.
But you don’t always have to be the one pouring.

Sometimes you can put the bloody jug down and let somebody else pick it up.
And that doesn’t mean everything has to be perfectly equal all the time either. Real relationships don’t work like that. Sometimes one person has more to give, sometimes the other does. Sometimes you’re both absolutely thriving, and sometimes you’ve collectively got about three teaspoons of energy and a biscuit between you.

What matters is that it can flow both ways.

The same goes for the relationship you have with yourself. We can spend so much time giving our energy away that when we finally get a little bit of time for ourselves, we immediately fill it with something productive. There’s always another job, another message, another thing we “should” be doing.

Rest doesn’t have to be earned. Neither does kindness. Neither does receiving.

Maybe today you let somebody help without immediately saying, “I’m fine.” Maybe you accept the compliment instead of arguing with it. Maybe you take an hour for yourself without turning it into a productivity challenge. Maybe you simply notice the people who naturally pour back into you without being asked.

Because being caring doesn’t mean constantly emptying yourself for everyone else.
You’re allowed to have people who check on you too. You’re allowed to be supported. You’re allowed to be looked after. You’re allowed to receive the same love, care and energy that you give so naturally to other people.

So today, instead of asking yourself who needs something from you, try asking

What do I need, and am I actually allowing myself to receive it?

Your cup is allowed to get filled too.

Nova x